What About Intimacy?

Intimacy and passion in relationships is not only important but also healthy. Couples need to enjoy being together in an intimate way. When relationships are troubled, the last thing either person wants is to be passionate with each other. However, this is a healthy part of a relationship and is a huge part of the healing and rebuilding in troubled times. One may find it to be awkward in the beginning, but it is crucial.

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Don't allow issues to go to far, or too long without discussing them. The longer you continue to ignore problems the harder they become to resolve. Many times this behavior is just the beginning of troubled times within your relationship and where you can loose intimacy. It's so important to stay connected, make eye contact, talk, listen, and touch often to help keep the romance alive and thriving!

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Make your intimate time together special. Surprise your mate with a warm bubble bath, lighted candles, soft music, and a glass of their favorite beverage; or call us today and we can reserve a nice romantic evening at a local hotel to include a wonderful atmosphere of ambiance created for you by us. All you'll do is show up and enjoy! Out of town clients can order one of our create-it-yourself packages including step-by-step set-up instructions.

Ladies are you ready for some Football??.......

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6 Tips for Women on how to Survive Football Season......

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Let's face it ALL men are NOT football lovers. If your man is not, I'm sure he has some other fetish. If he is a football lover, here are a few tips to help get you through the season.

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As you probably know by now the season ushers in the fall and moves through the winter. Experience the magic of falling in love all over again in fall! What better time to rekindle the flames, than the season synonymous with change. Ladies if you think of the football season as a season of love, trust me your going to have a ball.

1. Take "me" out of the equation and adopt the “It's all about you babe" philosophy. The sooner you realize that there's no way that your going to come between your man and football season, the more attractive this approach becomes. Basically it's what can I do for you, I want to cater to you. Look for tasty dishes that you've never prepared before that you know he's going to love, RecipeZaar has over 2,265 to choose from. I am sure you'll find some really good dishes to prepare that will show him that you've gone all out for him. On game day get everything ready that's going to make him comfortable. Don't forget it's not about you initially. Trust me, once the season is over in February, the man will remember the times you catered to him. When you choose to have girls night in watching whatever show is “in” at that time, the favor will be returned, and he will be eager to do so. You can also redeem points scored in other ways. Be creative because you have set yourself up for a win/win here!

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2. Sit right down next to your man and plant a big one on him during commercial breaks. This way he will have double the fun and so will you. Just make sure when the game comes back on that you respect his desire not to be interrupted - 9 times out of 10 he's not listening to you anyway.

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3. Do not make plans for after 10:00 church service. You already know where his mind is. Spare yourself an argument or the unpleasant stare down, don't even think about it - DVR is just not the same.

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4. Try to learn the game NOW before the season progresses so you can talk the talk with him. Ask him questions and show a genuine interest in the game. Trust me, he will be turned on by your actions rather than turned off by negative behavior like complaining that he never spends time with you. Sunday is your only day to be together because you both work. Skip the winning it won't work for diehard football gridiron lovers.

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5. Take the initiative to plan a get together with a few of his close friends. Make it a surprise and have them bring an h'orderve so all of the work isn't on you. Flirt with him the entire time and watch the sparks fly. Plan the party when you know his favorite team is playing. Pick up decorations at your local party store to make it even more fun for him and your guest.

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6. Finally if you don't think it's worth it (remember it's not about you) do something for yourself like go to the mall, or visit your family. Get caught up on the books that you've been meaning to read. Whatever you do just remember that it's not the end of the world and it's more of a turn on for him if you exercise you independence. Most of all remember it's just a season....not a lifetime!

Romance and Mood Swings

Ladies and Gentlemen, being moody is a serious bad habit that can wreck even a great relationship. You wake up in a great mood and suddenly by noon you've turned into Dr. Jekyll, are you serious? This type of behavior is so annoying and if it becomes or is a habit, you can bet it's going to have a negative impact on other areas of the relationship.

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We are living in some pretty tough anxiety-inducing times, and when life takes a stressful turn, it’s not uncommon for couples to start taking out that stress on each other. While occasional mood swings can—and should—be forgiven, being in a relationship with someone whose bad moods outnumber good ones can make one run for cover. Wouldn’t you do the same?

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The next time you feel a bad mood coming on catch yourself and take a moment to consider what kind of impact your moods are having on your spouse and the relationship. Bad mood swings can definitely have a negative impact on the romance and passion that you share. It's a turn-off and no one wants to deal with drama. You don't want to run your mate away with negative behavior. Go for a walk or pick up a book of positive affirmations, do something you enjoy to take the edge off.

The Power of Romance

Romance and sex are all to often confused or lumped together as if they are the same thing. Well they're not and the reason I say that is because romance is the creation of an atmosphere where one feels reverenced, unconditional love and appreciation. Sex is an act that works best when coupled with romance. Getting it right brings us to the other element that's often left out of the conversation which is intimacy.
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There are some men who will never understand the importance of romance and are not willing to invest the energy into obtaining the ultimate benefits from it. Some men may be lazy or think it's silly to invest in romance. It's a foolish mistake and can lead to a woman seeking this important aspect of the marriage elsewhere as in outside of the marriage. When I hear talk of such men I often think about the song by the duo Sherelle and Alexander O'Neil and the lyrics that she sings while talking to another man outside of her relationship; "Your giving me everything I miss at home".
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Then there are the men who know the secrets of romance. I think that women are so crazy about watching the reality shows such as the Bachelor and Who Wants to Marry (whatever), because it's pretty obvious the men who are the most romantic stick around the longest and are chosen in the end. Why? You may think it's because they are rich, good looking, have great jobs, or any of the obvious reasons! Not, they realize that power of romance.
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And what do these romantic guys do? Simple things like: 1. light candles 2. pick flowers 3. look at the stars 4. have a picnic or romantic dinner nothing you can't do with ease.
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Men may not want to believe it but, it's the small things that matter most to a woman when it comes to romance. You can simply turn down the lights, turn on the music, take her by the hand and ask her to dance when no one's watching, that's romance. Hand her a bunch of wild flowers, go for a stroll holding hands. That's romance. Get it? It's in these moments when she feels as though she's the most important woman in the world to you. She feels appreciated and loved and because of the romance she may even feel butterflies in her stomach.

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Whoa the passion and excitement that she's feeling for you will not only manifest itself in sex, but will also spill over into the overall relationship. If you're not the romantic type don't be alarmed if once you don't succeed. Since she's not use to it or may have been hurt by you she may feel that your only doing it for sex. It may take a few romantic encounters to achieve the best results. Hang in there, the payoff is within reach and well worth it. Above all, you will have a fulfilling relationship where you will have fun discovering each other!

Communicating about Sex!

Start by talking. You’d be surprised by how many couples spend hours discussing everything from finances to who's picking up the kids from school this week, but don’t ever communicate when it comes to sex.

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Husbands often suffer from MES (Male Ego Syndrome) and want to prove to themselves that they can satisfy their wives in bed. Women often suffer from what I call FFS (Female Fear Syndrome) and have fear to be open and honest about their needs. They worry that the husband may feel inadequate if they open up. It's only natural for women to worry, based on a woman's natural nurturing tendencies to consider her man's needs more so than her own. Sometimes as a result of both behaviors you get MES + FFS = JFI (Just Fake It)!

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So be honest if you’re craving of anything at all! Trust me you'll be a lot happier all the way around and create an openness with each other that will lead to greater more satisfying intimacy. For both partners you'll be surprised at how happy the other is to oblige.

Budget Friendly Romantic Weekend Getaway Tips...

6 Budget Friendly Romantic Weekend Getaway ideas to help keep the spark in your relationship!

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1. Choose an off season destination. Area hotels will have lower rates if it's not peak season for travel. You're more than likely to get a better deal. They'll also be less crowds and a quieter atmosphere so you can really focus on each other.

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2. Search the for weekend getaway packages on sites like Travelocity, Hotwire and Priceline which offers cheep Flights, Hotels and Car Rentals. Trust me it's a great resource for 5 start hotels with deep discounts. My cousin recently book a hotel in downtown Dallas TX using Priceline. She said it was a 5 star hotel and the price, $60 a night! She said it was modern, chic, clean as a whistle and right across the street from the mega mall!

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3. Stay at a bed & breakfast instead of a hotel. Abba is a great resource and has listings for B&B's all over the country. Again, if you book off season you'll often find the rates to be lower that hotel rates.

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4. If you both enjoy the great outdoors and even if you don't, get outside of the box and try something new, a weekend getaway camping trip! A romantic dinner cooked over a campfire and sleeping under the stars may be just what you need to breathe life back into you individually and as a couple!

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5. Take it all in right in your hometown. Call your chamber of commerce or convention and visitors bureau and request a visitors guide. Find one place where the two of you have never been. Dine at a restaurant you've never been to before, or have a picnic in a park you've never stopped to enjoy before.

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6. If you simply can’t afford a hotel or bed and breakfast out of town or find that even a camping trip will throw you off budget, skip it and stay home. If you have children have them stay with relatives. Lock the door, unplug the phone, never turn on the lights and spend the weekend alone together. Oh and make sure you have your Creations of Love-to-go kit filled with all of the essentials you'll need to have a sexy romantic evening at home. Make sure to have the sparkling cider chilling or whatever you'd like on hand for a private toast to your love. Go ahead and slip into something comfortable, turn on the quiet storm music and simply enjoy! Oh and by the way....food is optional!

Romantic Fun Date Tip!...

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Here's the deal, Creations of Love is undergoing many changes. Wow, I can't even begin to tell you that it's a "Wednesday Wisdom Romantic Tip" because you already know it's not Wednesday! OK that was suppose to make you smile, (smile please!) So sorry I didn't get a tip posted yesterday, but do enjoy a tip that's good any day the week!

So...it’s sum-sum-summertime; the imagination conjures up beach music, pool parties, barbecues, ice tea and lemonade! Summer is a time for enjoying the outdoors, getting hot and sweaty, indulging by the pool and eating ice cream on a cone. What can be more romantic than thinking about the, hot days and torrid, fun-filled nights that only the Summer can bring?

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A surprise plan!
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You don't always have to get-away or wait until Valentines Day to have a hot steamy, torrid, fun filled night. Or wait until after dark either! Turn up the heat during the week, during the day!
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Here's an idea....
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One day during the week plan an all day romantic soiree at home together. With school no longer in recess, it's the perfect time if you have children because no babysitter needed! Ok here's a few things you'll need....
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Whom ever is doing the planning pick up the following items the night before:

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1. Fresh rose petals from your local grocers (always ask for fresh petals from flower arrangements that day!)h

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2. Make sure you've got all of your mates favorite breakfast foods, (or try the pancake idea below) and don't forget the ingredients for a morning mimosa to have a toast to your love! My personal fave...Sparkling Cider and OJ with a shot of Cranberry juice. Pancake mix for heart shaped pancakes, (heart shaped baking pans...Big Lots or the Dollar Store) strawberries and powered sugar...oh and don't forget the maple syrup! It's going to be a "sweet" morning!

3. Prepare heart shaped pancakes and sprinkle with strawberries & dust with powdered sugar! Pour up the mimosa's. Sprinkle petals on the breakfast tray, (you do have a breakfast tray...right?...of course you do)!

4. Make sure the curtains and blinds are closed so the sun is simply peeking through.

5. Light the candles and voila...spend quality time reverencing each other!

ATTENTION: The above soiree will not take place until the kids are on the school bus!! If it's just the 2 of you don't forget to take the day off in advance!!

Wednesday...Wisdom...A Romantic Tip!

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Long juicy BEAR hugs! Did you know that if you hug for 20 to 60 seconds that it stimulates the release of oxytocin, a bonding hormone that facilitates a sense of emotional connection to your mate.

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When you apply physical intimacy that happens outside the bedroom like hand-holding, kissing, cuddling up next to each other on the couch, it helps usher in the anticipation of sex! Yes it does says, psychologist Ian Kerner, a New York City-based sex therapist and author of Love in the Time of Colic: The New Parents' Guide to Getting It On Again.

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Two Words: HUG NOW!

Wednesday Wisdom...A RomanticTip!

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Ooops...sorry this Wednesday' s Wisdom is 5 minutes late! I did do some research in preparation for today's (yesterday's) tip earlier this week. I've been thinking and reading a lot about the most important components of a marriage. I've been seeing and hearing so much about romance, money, communication and infidelity. Getting it right in all of these areas, will strengthen the marriage and keep the romance alive within the relationship!

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Such a hot topic these days, marriage! Some people say it's due to the financial crisis. It's either making the relationship stronger, or breaking it. I agree to a point, but I've just never been the type of person to blame default of any kind on circumstances.

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Life is full of choices and we get to choose for the most part. In marriage by now we all know that it's work. In hard times the work is even harder. When I hear people say "what's love got to do with it?", it makes me cringe. Love has everything to do with it including a commitment to love.

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If your marriage is in trouble or showing signs that it's headed for trouble, always, always remember the love. Think about the good things that brought you together. Even if you feel you've out grown the other person, take their hand and pull them up. Think of it this way, your in it together and your not the enemy. Take time out to really talk about whatever is on your mind in a healthy way. No screaming and shouting or name calling. If you feel provoked ask your mate to listen with an open mind and if they would please think about what you've said before responding.

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Most importantly get help when it's no longer manageable. First take an in depth look inside of yourself and be honest with yourself. Are there things that you can do to actually bring about a positive change in your relationship?

Wednesday Wisdom...A Romantic Tip!

Don't compare your marriage to other marriages and what you may simply THINK is the perfect couple!

1. What you see: The couple that equally share's the chores

Not so fast: If it's really annoying to you that your friend's hubby seems happy to scrub the kitchen after making a delicious meal, then it's obvious that your hubby isn't. But have you ever considered your approach? Nagging, complaining and comparing him won't ever work so do yourself a favor don't bother. Instead, thank him for taking care of the laundry and perhaps swap chores. Let something that he didn't do go and give praise where it's due. Also, don't blow your top if he does a chore differently than you would or leave his clothes in the floor. Chances are, he'll be more willing to help around the house if you stop cracking the whip.

2. What you see: The honey, baby, sweetie couple that seems to never fight — not ever.
Not so fast: Fighting really isn't always a bad thing, as long as you aren't violent or nasty towards each other. A good fight when fought fairly can yield great results that you can both benefit from. In fact, research shows that some couples are often energized by healthy verbal arguments. If your friend says that her and her husband never fight, don't worry an argument is on the way, or perhaps she's not being honest with you. Maybe she wants to impress you or make you jealous.

3. What you see: The couple with all of the material things, oh and even the adorable doggie!
Not so fast: Don't get caught up in being jealous over what seems to be a couple living the high life. The luxury home, the Mercedes or BMW that's making you green with envy. The key thing is to keep it real for you and your emotions in check. Be happy for your friends and think of it this way, you never know what kind of debt they may be in. If their in great financial shape and you're comfortable, ask them how they did it and where did they start. If they're true friends, they'll be more than happy to share information with you including investing tips or give you the scoop on where to get the best deals etc. right down to the dog!

4. What you see: They can't seem to keep their hands (and lips) off each other.
Not so fast: This has got to be one of the most annoying things right? I know you've heard the term get a room. Just because couples feel the need to express themselves, doesn't mean they're more in love than couples that are not so public with displaying affection. You may be surprised how many couples are all hot in public and subzero in private. If your jealous of the couple, ask yourself is it because you want to actually be closer, or do you just want to put on a show for your friends? True intimacy should never be based on what you see but what you know for sure. Like what really goes on behind closed doors.

Wednesday Wisdom...A Romantic Tip!

This weeks tip is based on a tragedy. A tragedy that didn't have to happen. Based on jealousy, debt, and infidelity a mans life ended too soon and was taken by the "other woman". I'm sure by now you've heard about what was speculated to be and now ruled a murder-suicide.

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Steve McNair was shot to death by a women named Sahel Kazemi. A 20 year old woman who was distraught that the "oh so married man" that she was seeing, might be seeing yet another women. The full story found on Fox Sports said that, Kazemi's family told reporters that the woman was so confident McNair was divorcing his wife of 12 years that she was preparing to sell her furniture and move in with him.

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This is a real crazy tragedy in so many ways. The question with varying answers is and always will be, "Why do men cheat?" One thing that we know for sure is this is a sad, sad, case we'll never find the answer to the question, "why"?. I have a better question..."Is it worth it?"

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I saw a number of people including celebrities on Twitter asking another question, "Do you think this will make men sit-up and take notice when it comes to cheating." My first thought was NO. Although I'd like to believe in my heart that it made some men think really hard and ask themselves if it's worth it, cheating on their wives.

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With so much left to be said on this subject right now my heart goes out to his wife Mechelle the mother of 2 of 4 of his sons. All left now to grow up without their Father due to his selfishness. There are always consequences to trying to have your cake and eat it too. It may sound harsh but it's the reality.

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It makes me fall in love more and more with what I do, and pray that it's helping couples to stay within the marriage for love and excitement. The ROMANTIC TIP for this week is; "Married Men Don't Cheat on Your Wives!" "Married Wives Don't Cheat on your Husbands!" Fear God, have enough respect for yourself, your spouse and if you have children certainly think about them. You just never know if the other person is as a fatal attraction in disguise. Think before you act, of the possible tragedy that your actions may bring.

Romantic Tips for Your Relationship

Igniting Intimacy in Your Relationship
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The very first thing couples need to remember is that couples need quality time together. Start with setting aside time for each other that's just about the two of you. If you have children and your child is an infant and you are not comfortable with leaving the child with a sitter or even family members; make plans for a romantic evening at home. In other words have your date night out, in!

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Once the baby is down for the night, light some candles, turn the music down low and share a nice dinner. You can either order in or prepare a nice meal together. Pick up your favorite movie early in the day or on your way home, or find a good movie on cable and watch a movie or just talk after dinner. Don’t make the conversation be about work, bills, household chores or the children. Leave the dishes, and focus on the two of you alone. Turn off all of the electronic devices including the home phone. You don't want to have any distractions. Don't even answer the door! Whoever it is should have called first anyway, (before you turned off the phone!)

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If you have older children arrange for them to spend the night with family members or perhaps spending the night with friends that you trust. A Friday or Saturday night will do. Then you can plan a romantic night out, or if you're on a tight budget, keep it simple and plan for a night in! Again, candles, dinner and perhaps a sexy romantic game like twister! Steal a kiss while the game is in play! One of my clients confessed that, “Every once in a while my wife will surprise me with the best possible gift: an at-home sex date. She’ll whisper, ‘The kids are staying at the baby-sitter’s overnight,’ and I’ll know exactly what our plans are that evening.”
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The most important thing to re-igniting romance in your relationship is to remember you love this person and you still want to do things to impress them. Their smile is one of the things that you'll want to work for. Pick up a single rose or carnation or a box of their favorite candies or even a blank card, sign it "I love you, Me." Be thoughtful, creative and most of all, remember to be in love with each other the same way and with even more passion than when you were dating!

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Put your best foot forward to keep the romance alive and well within your marriage!

Wednesday Wisdom...A Romantic Tip!

Today's post is all about you! Taking good care of you. We get so caught up in the day to day working, taking care of the kids, running errands, cooking and cleaning. For women that are in the start-up phase of a business, it's double the work because women often do all of the above and are the CEO, CFO, COO, Admin, wearing all of the hats really.
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The same thing goes for men. They often work 10-14 hour days, work in the yard, help out with the kids (I hope) and take care of the manly things around the house. When is there time for you and just you? Here's the deal, by the time that you take care of all of the above there's no time left for you.
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There must be a balance and a time-out for you and for your relationship. Taking good care of you takes a conscious effort. Sometime it takes practice but you know the deal, practice makes perfect! It will become a routine but it's totally up to you. Write up a plan on paper and stick to it. You can get started with just one hour a day, even if you have to break it up, you'll begin to see a difference in key areas of your life.
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4 life elements that will help bring balance to your world.
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1.) Mind - Keep a positive attitude. Discover simple pleasures. Get organized by clearing the clutter. You'll be surprised at how your thoughts will open up and become clearer as a result!

2.) Body - Exercise, Walking, Yoga

3.) Spirit - Prayer, Meditating, Read positive books

4.) Balanced Diet - Eating healthy and loading up on antioxidant enriched foods can boost your energy level.
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The bottom line is to prioritize your day. Put YOU number on of the list! The journey of two people to become a healthy, functioning partnership, where each feels more fully themselves, is a long journey so be patient with each other, it's constant work.
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The rewards:
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Taking good care of you = Better Health = Better Relations = Better Romance = Better Sex!

Wednesday...Wisdom...A Relationship Tip

Today's post comes with a lot of thought, research and hopefully your feedback on this topic. I recently read an article about how financial woes are the new "Aphrodisiac" and I want to share my thoughts with you about this concept. Well honestly, I couldn't disagree more with this concept. I am not and never will be a supporter of what is being referred to as, "Transactional Love" which celebrates material assets over the person who earned them.

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The article went on to say that love as a transaction dates back to when “I’ve got cattle” was followed by “What can you trade in exchange?” In other words I'll cook for you if you buy me a new pair of shoes and that’s the clean example. Sounds more like a swap meet to me! It also sounds like bartering. The problem is what will you do when you run out of "things" to swap!
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A real life scenario of "Transactional Love" within a marriage is, when one remains in misery in a dead relationship just for the financial fringe benefits. Better known as exchanging body parts for money! I wonder if these types have tried everything possible to revive the marriage. Money without love is a dangerous mix, nothing but heartache and pain.
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We as humans were made for love and the absence of it can lead to sickness. I've heard women say, “I want a man with lots of money and that's all I need.” Furthermore they would be content and feel secure. Well I can tell you from personal experience that's not true at least not for me.

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A loving marriage is comprised of a constant flow of sharing worldly goods, and the two of you are in sync together. You're so in love with each other, the declarations come in joy, tears, fears, and yes even the anx associated with an economic crisis. There is a higher percentage of people that would admit after going through the financial fire together; their former taste for worldly material goods has been traded in for mature spending and an even greater love for one another. Not simply settling in to a dead end.
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Those that trade-in love for money, will grieve in the long haul and begin looking for love. It's naturally human and a part of our make-up. Could that be the reason why Kendra left Hugh Hefner for a one on one relationship that's based on love and not money?

Wednesday Wisdom...A Romantic Tip!

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This weeks Romantic tip comes to us via Steve Cooper Co-Founder of Hitched Media, Inc. I'm in love with this Online Marriage Mag. Click here to see why!

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We often talk about getting outside of the box and doing something different and sometimes doing things that your mate loves but you aren't crazy about doing.

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Steve's date in his own words..........

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We went to a local film festival, which neither of us had done before to see Street Dreams. After the film was over, the actors (who were in the crowd) along with the film's crew got in front of the theater to talk about the film and answer audience questions. Before the movie had started we got to catch some of them walking the red carpet too. After the movie was over and we left the theater, my wife and I ventured next door to a diner and grabbed a snack while watching the stars out the window sign autographs and take pictures. It was a fun night doing things out of our normal routine.

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The key words....."neither of us had done before"
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Thanks for sharing your date night out with us Steve which, I happen to know was your turn to plan! You had fun which is key! Having fun is what we all need to do more of!

Happy Mother's Day!....

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To all the mothers that visit my blog, cheers to you this day! I hope your day is filled with love and happiness, smiles galore and rest! Keep up the awesome work! Thank you for raising great citizens of the world!
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It's truly a blessing and a privilege being a mother. Being a mother has it's ups and downs such as life, but there is no greater reward, than having your children grow up and actually love to be around you! You only get one mother and to cherish her is truly an understatement. If it wasn't for mother's, none of us would be here. The unconditional love that a mother gives is irreplaceable and incomparable to that of any other.
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I dedicate this post to my Mother who taught me everything about what it means to be a real women. She always said, "don't just be any ole women but a women of substance". A women with integrity, kind and thoughtful, yet strong and passionate, not two faced but honest and trustworthy. To love God and always pray and never doubt what you can achieve with God by your side. Oh and so much more really!
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I know she's holding it down beyond the pearly gates. She's smiling down upon me and my 4 sisters saying well done daughters, well done! A gift that is no longer taken from us, but given to many as she walks the streets of gold. The best Mother you can possibly imagine!
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Happy Mothers Day Mom!! Love you and miss you much!!

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Thanks Mom for being the best you and for giving your personal best to me!

Wednesday Wisdom...A Romantic Tip!

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The best thing that you can do for yourself, your mate and your relationship, is to continue to do what you love to, even after you say I do! So often we give up our passion or the fun things that we enjoy and make our partner the center of our universe. That's all well and good but don't loose sight of yourself in the process.;

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I've seen it happen so many times and once you get lost it's hard to find yourself again. Your identity is the one thing that made you fall in love with each other in the first place right? Be yourself and continue to live the life that was a breath of fresh air to your mate from the start.

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What is it you loved to do most when you were single? Did you look forward to playing golf or tennis? Get a charge out of taking your dog on vacation with you? Enjoy the action of a good basketball or football game? Savor the intimacy of a long car trip? Whatever you did before and enjoyed, do it over and over again — and if you haven't already, introduce your significant other to the joy of losing yourselves in an activity you adore!

Wednesday Wisdom...A Romantic Tip!

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Unresolved problems can lead to hostility and resentment. Using problem solving strategies can help you bring back the romance, and open the lines of communication that usually are shut down during this time.

Make time for solving problems together. Yes, you might even have to schedule an actual appointment with each other. When you make a commitment to come together and talk, put the electronic devices on vibrate, better yet...turn them off, all of them! If you have kids always make sure they're tucked in for bed. Don't answer the phone, let it go to voicemail or answering machine.

Key tips:

1. If you know that you can't communicate without raising the roof, go to a public place like the park, or a restaurant and set up some ground rules like....not interrupting each other. I know it's hard sometimes not to, but better when you don't. It will immediately make the other person feel important when they can see that your really listening. Don't use finger pointing or words like "You always", "You never" or I told you so.

3. Don't forget that a large part of communication is listening. Don't be distracted, stay focused on each other and make sure your body language reflects that. Reiterate what you hear so the other person knows you're getting the message by rephrasing, especially if you're not clear about something. Say things such as "What I hear you saying is"....."I don't feel like you pay me enough attention" or "We need to spend more quality time together". Whatever your feeling, now is the time to discuss it.

4. Before you walk away, hug and agree to work on problems together. Have mutual respect and trust that, whatever the other person is feeling is real.

5. At no time after you walk away should you go back on your word to be a better person to the other. Don't throw up the fact that the other person agreed to do this or that. Schedule another appointment and sit down to discuss what may or not be working! Eventually you'll get it right!

Working through problems together will lead to better communication which will open the door for greater romance to find it's way in!

Wednesday Wisdom...A Romantic Tip!

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Since today's officially declared "Earth Day", thought it would be fun to share 6 romantic date tips to help you celebrate the day, and get a little romance in while your at it!

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Romance is everywhere, it's one of the hottest topics right now! Everywhere you turn from talk shows to wedding themes, people are getting back to basics and remembering that romance is a necessity and not a luxury. A vital aspect to any relationship, people are talking romance, from financial counselors to relationships experts, even on the fashion run-ways! All the more reason why I love what I do, I know it's changing lives and transforming relationships!

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Since I'm a "Hopeful Romantic" here's to hoping that you find these suggestions useful! Let me know which one you decide on! Maybe you can get all of them in throughout the rest of the month for a little variety and added enjoyment!
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1. Plant a tree together to symbolize your love for one another. Give it a pet name and watch it grow!

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2. Shop for some organic goodies together at your local market or Whole Foods store.

Bonus Tip: Pack a picnic basket with the goodies you purchase and have a romantic picnic at your favorite park!
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3. Visit a recycling center to learn more about it. That way if you've been on the fence about doing it, you can find out why it's so important!
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4. (My favorite!) Turn off ALL of the lights and ALL of the electronic devices tonight or any night and light some candles! You'll be surprised at how your voice will soon become a whisper and you'll simply enjoy the quiet!

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5. Visit your local Starbucks for a cause and have a coffee or tea date while your at it! Click here to learn more about Starbucks Shared Planet initiative!

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6. Catch a Sunset together tonight or any night for that matter! Walk to an area near you for a good view, or catch it from your backyard, terrace, deck or balcony. Just relax and breathe, no talking necessary!

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Let's all remember to take care of the Earth everyday!!!

Wednesday Wisdom...A Romantic Tip!

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Sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It will never just happen! You can't just "find" love that last. You have to "make" it last day in and day out. It's a constant work that has to be done. You have to give your relationship a check-up. Just like you get your car tuned-up and you get your annual health check-up. Doing the same thing for your relationship is a necessity! Things can grow stale with the same old busy routine that often dominates our life together!

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That's why we have the expression "the labor of love," because it takes time, effort, and energy. Most importantly, it takes wisdom! You have to know what to do to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is not a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed in your relationship.

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If you need help, you can seek help from a professional or look for positive books to read together or read for yourself and share what you've learned. Go online and read, there are so many good articles and Ezines out there with great free advise. Most importantly take time out for one another. Time away where you can really focus on each other and re-ignite the flames. Rest and renew, set goals, dream, focus on the good in each other and set a time for your next escape, so you both have something to look forward to!